Monday, September 29, 2008

Thank You, Doctor Sensitive!

So there we are at the MIL's house when the hub all but pokes me in the stomach and says "You're getting a belly!" Now I'm sure that there are chicks out there who gaze with motherly pride at their growing potbellies, but I am not one of them.

I am a person whose own mother started her down the road of body image hatred after she gained some weight (*gasp*) some years before puberty. Yes, my very own maman made a big farking deal about my gaining some poundage in those awkward pre-teen years. There was a stint at Weight Watchers at 12...the food prohibitions...the familial comments about my growing girth.

Thank ye gods I got away from that -- it only took going away to school in Europe where the baby fat melted off without my having to do anything in particular.

But the damage was already done. Throughout high school and college, my weight fluctuated between "I'm not eating anything for days on end" and "I'm eating everything I can possibly get my hands on." No matter what size or weight I was at, I loathed my nasty, icky, flabby, uber-gross body. It didn't help that my mom's live-in girlfriend (long since an ex) delighted in calling me a fat pig and telling me how disgusting I was.

Why am I whining like this about what ought to be left squarely in the past? Because you are expected to gain weight during pregnancy and, oh, the horror of it all. Look, I know that my potbelly is filled with a son or daughter who is going to be totally neat. I know that the pregnancy weight gain not associated with the placenta, the baby, extra blood, and such things is all but unavoidable. I know that I'm gaining weight for a good cause and anyone who says otherwise is just a big fucking anus.

And yet, I look in the mirror and I want to throw up.

UPDATE: I tried to talk about this with my mother and her response was "Sorry, it's not about you anymore, it's about the baby."


  1. I never had a problem with the weight gain from the pregnancy until my total weight hit a number that kept me from seeing the midwife. Then it hit me hard how much I weighed, how I had vowed never to weigh this much and how gross the number was and therefor so must I be.

    Now that the kid is out I am grossed out daily by my new body. Instead of that lovely roundness that I worried people didn't realize was pregnancy, I am now shaped like a Hershey's Kiss. Deflated. Bleh.

  2. So much to look forward to! I kid, I kid. But there's a magic no-midwife number? The ones I'm seeing said they'd throw away the scale in the birth center if they could.

    And if it's any consolation, every lady I know says the deflated look goes away after a while.

  3. Christa, if it's any consolation to *you*...

    I have obvs not been pregnant yet, but my sisters both have. My youngest gained weight and kept it on, but that is directly related to the fact that she is truly sedentary and does NOT eat right. She also was unable to breastfeed, which didn't give her a fighting chance to lose that first big chunk of baby weight.

    My other sister was careful during her pregnancy to eat VERY WELL but not to excess. She ate what she wanted to sate cravings and then if she still wanted more (chocolate ice cream by the bucket, a whole pound cake, etc etc) she would switch to pureed sweet potatos. Yes, sweet potatoes! She kept a bowl of them in the fridge (along with roasted wedges), and when she had that sweet/creamy craving she would turn to sweet taters. because they rule. And she added cinnamon to the whipped ones just to make them extra yum.

    I thought that was pretty ingenious, because that's a starch that provides a TON of nutrients, isn't as carb heavy as regular taters, and is just as sweet as candy.

    She was also pregnant through the summer, and she ate sweet corn on the cob like it had not been invented before she was sperminated.

    Obviously, it's this sister that gained about 45-50 pounds DURING the pregnancy (very normal gain for a six foot mom!) and lost all of it and then some in the weeks afterward. Breastfeeding makes the baby weight just GO AWAY, it's almost scary to watch. She also exercised during her pregnancy. She was never, ever fanatical about any of this, and really didn't seem to mind the weight she did gain, but she was mindful of these factors.

    I know from having seen you recently that you are already in great shape. You eat better (veggies, and now fish since you need that extra protein) than almost anyone I know. You're also really young. That combination is a guarantee of springing right back into form.

    Also, don't be too hard on Tedd. The thing is, those of us outside a pregnancy are FASCINATED with the whole process. The "getting of the belly" is exciting stuff to us, because it's like evidence of this GREAT BIG MYSTERY! *You* know you're pregs because you have that little bebe inside of you and he/she's doing all sort of things to your inner self...

    ...but it isn't until we see that beautiful round gorgeous little bump that we know for sure that there's a miracle on the way.

    For inspiration, see this picture. I know it's iconic, but there's a reason for that:

    And that, my lovely girl, is a beautiful thing. So are you. I TOLD YOU THIS BEFORE, DUH, TRY TO REMEMBER NOW, K? ^^


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