Monday, December 29, 2008

How I Feel

I'm starting to feel pregnant*. I think. On what am I basing this supposition? Oh, a few things.

If you know me, you know I'm big on exercise. I have a treadmill and a weight bench. I tap. I stretch. When I have absolutely no time for proper exercise, I'll do low-impact aerobics while editing. I'm a woman obsessed. But lately, I haven't felt as keen on exercise. Stuff hurts that has never hurt before -- I pull muscles and ligaments and other innardly bits with ease. I get winded more easily because Paloma is pushing on my lungs, and I'm just plain tired. I'd like to spend the next three months sitting on my ass watching Bones and CSI and working on pointless crafts.

You heard that right. I'm T-I-R-E-D, tired. Look, I work multiple jobs, but because those jobs don't pull in a regular middle class salary, I like to make sure I'm doing more than my fair share of the housework. Plus, I think I'm good at controlling the home economy, and that's part of what lets me work multiple jobs that don't pull in a regular middle class salary. It's a vicious cycle, and one that I typically love. The fight to survive! It normally invigorates me!

But not anymore. Now at the end of the day I'm yawning my head off and wondering just when I can crawl under my new feather bed (I sewed a cover for it!).

What else? Let's talk about my middle. More specifically, let us talk about my lack of middle. I believe that I have, in the words of my fitness instructor, "popped." I actually look somewhat like a pregnant person, indicating that the two strips of muscle that form my abs have finally been shoved aside like uncooperative opera house curtains. Note to other pregnant ladies: Those never tighten back up completely, which is why second-time moms start to show reeaaally early.

In conclusion, I feel round and waddly and unwieldy and tired.

*And it only took six months!

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