I think I've linked to this article before, but I just read another couple of articles that suggest that men don't belong in delivery rooms or that women having babies are better off if they can't smell any pesky male hormones that might make them nervous. Okay, I understand that we're all emotional animals inside those deep lizard parts of the brain, but we all also have lots of the curly brain stuff that indicates we can do this little thing called thinking logically.
Which isn't to say that some couples feel more comfortable with the papa-to-be handing out gum cigars in the waiting room, and more power to them. What I don't like is all these articles that basically do their best to convince men whose partners are preggo that they will either faint, vomit, become emotionally scarred for life, no longer find their partner sexy, or worse, inadvertently cause the poor laboring woman to need a c-section just by witnessing the birth.
Um, word. Birth is icky. I've done it - I had no desire to see what was happening in a mirror because I was busy and I felt gushing and I wanted to remember my privates as they once were. The Babby Daddy, on the other hand, made a point of glancing directly at the action because he thought it was really cool. And good for him, but if he'd wanted to stay up by my headular region, that would have been fine, too.
But back to birth being icky. Some people like to look at icky things and some don't. But here's the thing: we've all seen an icky thing, and most of us (the logical ones) got over it. Maybe we had to watch someone we love get stitched up in the ER. Maybe we've seen a boyfriend puke guts. Some of us have to deal with doodoo and rashy buttholes on a daily basis.
And you know what? Live long enough, and there's a chance that doodoo-smeared, rashy butthole is going to belong to your parent or your spouse.
I guess I can only hope that all the
babies guys who are wah-wahing because they don't find their woman's post-baby vajayjay teh sexay anymore aren't ever in a situation where they have to take care of an aging parent or spouse. Because you know what? When someone is that helpless and that vulnerable that they need you there to clean up their bodily yuck, what they probably need more than anything else is for you to be able to look them in the eye afterward.
See that guy right there? That guy rocks because he was there for me in one of the most vulnerable moments and, oh em gee, he lived to tell the tale without getting PTSD - seriously, read the article... "In the most striking cases, the symptoms that men experience come close to post-traumatic stress disorder, with its roots in the witnessing of an event that involves a threat to the physical integrity of self or others and responding with intense fear, helplessness or horror."
Puleeze! I wonder how these weenies will react the first time their kid breaks a limb or needs stitches. If you can't handle seeing your woman's physical integrity threatened, your head is probably going to explode when it's the fruit of your loins lying on that hospital gurney.
So, dudes, I guess if you don't want to see a woman giving birth, you have these three options:
- Have children with a woman who you know would prefer you stay out of the delivery room. Problem solved.
- Stay by your woman's head to avoid seeing anything "yucky" that might damage your psyche, you fragile flower. Again, problem solved.
- Or don't get anyone pregnant. You whiny baby. Problem extra extra solved.