Monday, April 25, 2011

I'm a Working Mother; That's Why We Go Adventuring

going back to work


Every Sunday night the knowledge slaps me in the face" 'You're dropping the Babby off at daycare tomorrow...' Sometime after putting away all the things that have accumulated throughout the week and over the weekend and washing the floors - which I do most Sunday evenings - the pace slows down just enough for my brain to remember that I'm a working mother. To remember to be sad.

Oy. Do not want. Someone - me - has a case of the Monnndayyyys!

I know that some mothers are super jazzed to go back to work after six weeks or a year or however long it takes them to remember that they loved their careers. And for those lucky enough to be able to work at home, with their children, I have no comment, just a tiny sliver of envy that's like a splinter stuck in my thumb that I only notice now and then when my hand bumps into a door jamb. And then it's just annoying, not the kind of thing that rends a gal's heart in two.

Someday, if the Babby wants to have some babies of her own and she's wondering if she'll work or not, I'm going to tell her that unless she love love loves her career and can't imagine giving it up or she just plain needs the money (helllooo), there's nothing quite like being at home with your baby, your toddler. Work will wait. Career advancement will kind of wait. And if I have not trained her to fill her mind and her days with awesomeness without there being an employer in the mix, we've got bigger fish to fry.

But really, personally, I'm mostly over getting all choked up when I think about work. Especially at work, where I screw all my emotions into a jar and keep them in the car until it's quittin' time.

It's just tonight, as I was putting up things so I could do those darned floors, I found this book (Over In the Meadow) and it stopped me in my tracks. The week before I went back to work and officially or unofficially, whatever you want to call it, became a working mother, the Babby was still falling asleep in my arms prior to naptime most days.

And that week, that last week, Over In the Meadow was what we'd be reading when she'd nod off.

(Yeah, I know, boo hoo hoo, cry me a river... just all of a sudden I remembered what I'm missing in my stockings and my DFWM attitude and my 38,000 cups of free coffee.)


working mother


All I can do is what I already do do*. Which is, most days, take the Babby on some tiny adventure every day after picking her up from daycare. Maybe a little seaside rock climbing. Or lion riding in the rose garden. A run down the block. A long stroller walk. Doghunting. And on a few days, days when she's tired and out of sorts and just wants to veg, we do exactly what she wants to do which is sit with me and watch a movie.

It's my silly, sad little way of trying to make life now feel like life then.

*Ha ha ha, doo doo.

4 comments:

  1. I call them the "Sunday night sads" because I too get them. I've been back at work now for 8.5 months and it doesn't get any easier. I just grab the weekends by the throat and try not to let go.

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  2. @gin That' not great to hear, but at the same time confirms my suspicions. So at least I know the deal! It's not like I spend all day at work crying my eyes out or anything, but the prep and the going and the logistics are just all such a bummer.

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  3. I love it. I love that you take her on adventures. Even though I am not married and do not have children, so do not know from experience---I CAN say that I love your philosophy on juggling mothering and work. It's a hard balance to work out! I hope one day to be able to stay home with my kids but the reality is that who knows...maybe we'll need the 2nd income. Gosh darnit! And thank you for stopping by on my SITS day : ) : )

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  4. You're so welcome, Mary! Thanks for your kind words!

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