Sunday, July 31, 2011

Double Time, Just Not the Time I'm Used To

Saturday was what you might call a banner day. I got up with the Babby since it was the BabbyDaddy's turn to sleep in. We had a fun morning with less than the usual number of total sobbing meltdowns (for her, for me, whatever!). I made my last green peanut butter and banana smoothie that I'll be able to make until we find ourselves in possession of gross squishy 'nanas. I got a little work done and sent off. Made crustless quiches for us and for an acquaintance. Went over to the neighbors' for awesome zuch parm. Had some surprisingly good day-old French bread.

But I just can't shake this weird feeling in my belly.

Long story short, one of my best clients has asked me to take a month-long hiatus. Things weren't going so well anyway, so it's not going to hurt us all that badly in the wallet department. And I know it's not me, but rather the economy's fault and also California's fault. So that's good. What it means, though, is that I suddenly find myself with a great many more hours at my disposal and I am just so not used to that.

working motherhood

Hence the weird feeling, which I can easily chalk up to feeling like I really ought to be doing something. Something I have forgotten, that will come due on Monday. The details of this hiatus aren't really all that clear, which I'm not happy about. But as soon as I got the notice, I wiped everything I would have been doing this weekend for Monday and beyond off my to-do list. The piece of paper where I write everything I have to do for the week - yes, I do that, don't you? - is to my eyes almost disturbingly bare.

Which isn't to say I don't have things to do. I DO. Things around the house, personal as of yet unpaid projects, etc. About half as many as usual, though, if you add everything up, so maybe you can see why it feels weird. Imagine half your responsibilities suddenly just not being there anymore. Who knows, maybe you'd do a little happy dance and head out back to swing on the hammock with a smoothie. Me? I get the shakes and figure that, no, this must be some mistake on my part.

4 comments:

  1. I feel this way right now. I do have a few assignments to do, but nothing of extreme consequence. With school winding down and work being patchy at best, nothing is going on. I feel like something is missing and I am struggling with what to do.. even though I have been complaining (probably loudly) for MONTHS about how stressed and busy everything seems.

    I am already planning a trip, probably to Boston, even though I can't afford it. CAN'T SIT STILL! MUST GO! GO GO GO! And all this knowing that I will be doing full time "consolidation" (see: free labour) starting in early September.

    Try to do something you haven't done in a very long time, just because there was "no time". I am going to pull out my paints and a canvas today and see what happens. :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hmmm, I haven't painted in forever, so that's a thought. The thing I have done the least is simply enjoy weekends, hang out with my family, and so on. So I've been trying to do more of that. Sewing is more like a chore since there are goals involved. Other than coming home at lunchtime and just reading (hee) I have to think about this one :) But great advice!!

    ReplyDelete
  3. I know all solo lawyers pretty much start each month thinking, "This is the month when I won't get any new clients and I'll starve." I'm guessing that's probably how all freelancers feel, too. I am sorry the work is drying up (hopefully temporary, just for summer) but I am glad you'll have some breathing time for fun time with P.

    The first few months of my time away from law, I simply didn't make a to-do list, for the first time in my adult life. It was so...odd. Freeing. Now I'm back to my task-driven routine, but I put the fun things on the list, too.

    In any event, I understand the Teutonic MUST WORK ALL THE TIME and RELAXING IS FOR THE WEAK mentality. Read a trashy novel, play in sprinklers - put THAT on your to-do list!

    ReplyDelete
  4. But... but... relaxing is for the weak aaaaaagh. I think I've mentioned before that I was raised to DO DO DO. If you're not accomplishing something, you're wasting your life! I'm definitely trying to enjoy this break - but in my stereotypically do do do kind of way. Like let's get my business going yeeaaaaaah. Let's think of 1500 projects yeeaaaaah.

    ReplyDelete

Show me some love!

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...