Tuesday, October 4, 2011

On Being a Mother and My Personal Evolution

being a mother

I can't remember if I ever though about becoming a mother before actually being a mother. If I did, it was probably in terms and images so abstract as to be meaningless. Being a mother would mean what, wiping bums? Teaching the ABCs? Giving long, boring lectures while someone slightly smaller than me rolled his or her eyes?

Here's a fact: I still don't know what being a mother really means, and that's after becoming a mother.

No, wait. That's not right. I don't know what being a mother means in some larger universal sense. I can't speak of universal motherhood. There is no universal motherhood, I suppose - something that popped into my head while reading the Queen Mother's musing on child abuse over at the Coop Blog, actually. Thinking about that really drove home the unreality of some overarching definition of motherhood.

Some mothers are saints. Some mothers are devils. Most of us fall somewhere in between, I suppose.

A while back, I thought about how the passing years have changed me. Today I am thinking about how being a mother has changed me, if at all. I can't say it's changed my habits. I'm no healthier and I'm certainly not saintlier. I'm no more likely to go to bed at a reasonable hour. Yet being a mother has most definitely changed me for the better. Or at the very least, inspired me to start changing for the better because I so want the Babby to be proud of me when she's old enough to be proud.

(I estimate that will happen when she's about 30 or so, but I figure why not start planting the seeds now.)


  1. The passing of time is as such. It is really quite interesting to look back and think about where thought that we would be and where we currently are. Hopefully though, the passing of time has changed us for the better :)

  2. I think motherhood is a transformative experience in ways physical and metaphysical. I hope that I am better person for having become a mother. I think you are too. Don't sell yourself short lady.

  3. Motherhood changes your DNA. There's just no doubt about it in my mind!

  4. Hey...trying to reach you on Twitter for a shout out on my post tomorrow. Send me your @? I'm @thewovenmoments. Thx!

  5. In reading a book recently about Willpower, I came to realize that the way motherhood made me a better/different person was in my patience. I had/have to exert so much self-control in parenting that over time, I've become a much more patient and in control person in general. One thing the book also mentioned was that it is MUCH easier to change for someone else (for peer pressure or other reasons, like parenting) than simply for ourselves.

  6. I don't know if motherhood changes one as much as gives us a new evaluation point (for you it's how proud offspring will be at some future date) for the choices we make. So we might make different choices because of that, which I suppose changes us, so yeah. I'm rambling.

    I was first proud of my Dad when I was in high school, cause he had the guts to go back to college. He had been dealing with some serious health and depression issues, and for him to step up like that was enough for even self-absorbed teen me to take notice. As I started getting a taste of the "real world" through college and afterward, I developed a deeper respect for my parents. So yeah, about 30.


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