Wednesday, September 5, 2012

Me, Imperfect, at 29 Weeks of Pregnancy

Just today I discovered the New Domesticity blog. I agree with a lot of it and disagree with a little bit of it, but what I find particularly thought-provoking is writer Emily's take on the whitewashed life depicted in living color on so many mommy blogs / lifestyle blogs / food blogs / etc. blogs. It's definitely easy to see pretty and perfect everywhere you look if all you read are blogs where writers only ever write about the parts of their lives that are both pretty and perfect. And once you've read post after post after post depicting nothing but pretty perfection, it's easy to look around at your own house / food / life / family / etc. and wonder what the heck is wrong with you that's keeping you from achieving a sanitized, catalog-worthy lifestyle.

Luckily, my life is neither pretty nor perfect enough to even fake that lifestyle - which, I believe, is what most of these supposedly perfectly styled bloggers are doing. Faking it by not telling the whole story. They get angry. Their houses get dirty. They yell at the kids. Sometimes they wear sweatpants and fart. Loudly. Pinterest projects go wrong. DIY turns out to be a major pain in the rear. Divorce happens. Death happens. LIFE happens. I've never hidden my ongoing feelings about my miscarriage. My sometimes controversial ideas about motherhood. It's no secret that I can't stand having to work for a living. The photos I take of my food are uninspiring, to say the least.

So in that vein, I wanted to share a picture of myself at 29 weeks of pregnancy:

29 weeks of pregnancy

Yes, I'm smiling. I'm standing on a beach in Central America, for goodness sakes. It would be hard not to be smiling. But at the same time, I am feeling huge and unwieldy and my gosh, if this baby isn't twice as strong as P. ever was in utero. I said in a past post that I used to think that pregnant women who complained about the kicking or the Braxton Hicks contractions or the back pain were just being dramatic, but my tune has changed in the past few weeks. Suddenly, my stomach is the first thing to enter a room. If standing up doesn't give me back spasms, it's my round ligaments doing to seizing. Eating makes me nauseous. Laying down gives me heartburn. Bending over makes me feel... funny. My bump gets in the way when I'm doing the dishes or cooking or trying to cart P. through airport security. The baby's frenetic, Karate-like movements are irritating, not charming.

I have decided I don't care much for pregnancy. I'm neither glowing, nor an icon of "true womanhood." Instead, I am 155 pounds - and growing - of medical-grade symptoms. And that is anything but pretty or perfect. Now if you'll excuse me, I'll be laying supine on the couch scrutinizing my toes. I think they're turning into Vienna sausages.

10 comments:

  1. And that obnoxious perfection is why I can't home/food/most mommy blogs. And your honesty is why I love yours.

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  2. Can't *stand*, that is. Sigh. Imperfection central here.

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  3. You look freakin' fabulous. And I couldn't agree more ... I love the flawed blogs better than the annoying mommyblogs. Hooray for people who tell it like it is ... and I don't just mean the moments you can get over, like your toddler being bulemic today. ;)

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  4. Oh goodness. My hubby had to institute a "no eating after 7pm" rule because my heartburn was so bad. One ill-fated late night of pizza and soda was memorably troublesome. J kicked her legs non-stop in-utero, and hasn't stopped kicking them since. The irritating male OB told me to "watch the pounds" as I ballooned up with water weight.

    Hang in there!

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  5. Oh, and near the end I texted a photo of my ankles/feet to my "never having kids" best friend. She replied that it was the best birth control ever.

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  6. You look amazing AND you're totally glowing. All of my favorite blogs are the ones where for ever beautifully photographed craft project there's a story about poop smeared on a couch or a burned dinner or a meltdown in the store. It's the kind of life I can relate to.

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  7. Um, 155 lbs. is what you weigh PREGNANT? I hope you're 5'1''. I get well into the 180s :)

    I like blogs that are real, not perfect... which is why I'm here!

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  8. Love the photo!
    I never got that beautiful round belly. I was always just... fatter. :/ Even up to my due date.

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  9. Hey lady, I've had more than two years to lose the "baby weight," and I look like a huge schlub. I never looked so lovely as you, when I was pregnant.

    I agree, though. Imperfect is so much better than the illusion of perfect that so many bloggers give to the world. It breaks my heart to see women who are clearly faking it, with thousands of readers, who gush on about how great they are. It's just a set-up (intentional or not) to make the rest of us feel crummy. I like beautiful, but I much prefer real. It's part of the reason I'm not strictly a food blogger. If I wrote nothing but food posts, I think it would be too easy to hide behind pictures of tasty looking food. So I keep up the mom side of things, with stories of my obnoxious kids (who I adore, but who are slowly driving me mad).

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