Wednesday, September 26, 2012

Pregnancy Sucks (YMMV)

The other day at work the new project manager, in reference to I forget what, said "Not every woman can have a happy-go-lucky, trouble-free pregnancy like yours." My out loud reply was a benign, office-appropriate uh-huh, but in my head I rolled my eyes as hard as I could and said "Brother, you don't know the half of it."

His silly assumption is a consequence of my not sharing details of my personal life in my professional space. It's a blanket policy I have adhered to since the start of my employment, but even if I were open about the details of my weekend activities or hobbies, I still couldn't see myself complaining about pregnancy (of all things) as the only lady in an office full of less-than-gentlemanly men.

So Herr PM doesn't know about my 2010 miscarriage of multiples or the acute miscarriage worries of my first trimester this go around. He doesn't know about the numerous tests and scans following the blood test, which he also doesn't know about, revealing an elevated risk of Down syndrome. I'm certainly not going to tell him about how my back hurts and I'm nauseous and crampy and always thinking about whether this or that symptom could be indicative of pending pre-term labor.

Happy-go-lucky pregnancy? I wish. That would be my pregnancy with P., an easy pregnancy that required the purchase of almost no maternity clothing and included side effects no more pernicious than the usual heartburn and occasional excruciating middle-of-the-night Charlie Horses.

Apparently at some point in my life, I wanted to have a billion babies. Big family. Lots of kids. I think this may have been before I really understood the economic realities of adulthood. And it was definitely before I realized how much pregnancy sucks. Pregnancy sucks so much that I'm pretty sure I'm never going to do it again because I'm not some crazy maternal masochist.

Oh, sure, I know, there are women who legitimately love being pregnant - though I do think that most of those are just now breezing through their uncomplicated first pregnancies. Like I did. So I can't wait until those tiny-ankled, belly rubbing, glowing-skinned gestators graduate to subsequent pregnancies. Until then, I'll just say "Sister, you don't know the half of it."

Here's me, pretending that pregnancy doesn't suck and bending starlight with the gravity generated by my huge mass:

pregnancy sucks

Do you enjoy pregnancy? Be honest!

16 comments:

  1. I don't love it but I don't hate it. I have a hard time imagining feeling strongly in love with actually being pregnant, but many women have told me, "Oh, I LOVED being pregnant!" So...YMMV, indeed!

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    1. I stand by my assertion that those are mostly first timers with small bellies and the bare minimum of symptoms. I thought being pregnant with P. was easy-peasy!

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  2. I have never been pregnant and have no shame in saying, I wish I could just have the kid delivered by UPS cause it does NOT look like fun. lol.

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    1. Is UPS delivery an option? Why didn't someone tell me sooner?!

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  3. You've had your worries and discomforts, but GOOD GOD WOMAN YOU LOOK GREAT.

    And I want your arms.

    That's all. ;)

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  4. aww you look so cute pregnant!

    www.thepinksmashbox.com

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  5. You look so cute! Other pregnant women are cute is my theory. After being married for 10 years and not able to conceive, when I finally did get pregnant I was DETERMINED to enjoy every minute of it. Didn't happen. Not with any of my pregnancies (3). Wouldn't change it for the world though. Thanks for stopping by and commenting on my blog. :)

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  6. You are adorable! My pregnancy was miserable. I had 6 1/2 months of all day sickness. It started when I was about a week pregnant. I took three medications, at the same time, and still threw everything up. I had one overnight hospitalization. I missed 2 months of work, then only worked part time for a month, and all that missed time ate up my maternity leave. I had hideous heartburn. I couldn't sleep. My sciatic nerve burned like hell on earth. I wanted to love pregnancy, but frankly it was awful. It was worth every miserable moment, and I do want to have one more pregnancy, but I do not pretend it was pleasant or easy. Thanks for being honest about your experience. And he may not realize it, but Herr PM can SUCK IT!

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  7. You look fabulous!

    I have to say that I wasn't miserable until full term #5 (technically pregnancy #7). That was torture and I'll never do it again.

    But I really think that I just lucked out before that. Some people just have easier pregnancies... all of our bodies are different! I never got sick... maybe a little heartburn? Uncomfortable at the end, absolutely... broken ribs? Yes. Wait... that does sound really sucky! I am a firm believer that something in our hormones makes (allows) us to forget!

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  8. Honestly..............the first three months sucked HUGE!LOL after that it was great.But without sounding to corny....the end result was the best ever. Congrats and you look beautiful I enjoyed my visit to your blog and look forward to reading more xo P.S. I hope you'll join my blog hop tomorrow

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  9. oops tried to subscribe and feedburner isn't working..:-(

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    1. Thanks for letting me know - I'll look into it! And I'll def. check out your hop!

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  10. My ENTIRE pregnancy sucked the big one! I appeared ok to acquaintances though. They didn't know my lack of extreme weight gain was due to my inability to hold anything down without meds and twice weekly acupuncture. They didn't know I had something my OB called "irritable uterus" which pretty much meant I was in excruciating pain any time I called upon my core muscles to do anything at all. That, with the colic afterward, inspired the vasectomy. I love my kiddo (of course) but yeah, there is no way I'd risk that kind of pregnancy again! I also have irrational hatred of any woman who can happily go through pregnancy with little more than a Braxton-Hicks, and come out the other side with a bubbly only-cries-when-it's-hungry baby. My one consolation is the 3 hour pain free med free labor and delivery (thanks, Hypnobirthing!) What's that man at work think he knows about pregnancy, anyway?

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  11. I enjoyed my first pregnancy more than my second, but I didn't have any complications to tint my experience. It was just all new the first time and growing a person in me felt awe-inspiring. It still does, but it's not "OH MY GOD HE HAS A NOSE!" amazement anymore. I was lucky enough to not have any real morning sickness and aside from pregnancy induced heart murmur the only annoying symptom I even got was the second time when my legs swelled up like balloons. That kind of sucked. I don't dislike being pregnant, but it's not something I'm all "OH GOD BEING PREGNANT IS THE MOST AWESOME THING EVER" about. It's the teenie tiny baby I look forward to that drives me.

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  12. you're so cute, I just want to put you in my pocket! pregnancy was ok for me on the Richter scale. I had mild nausea with both that lasted longer the 1st time. no heartburn, swollen feet or the need to spit constantly. I know I had it better than lots of women, but I didnt think it was the most awesome feeling ever...that would be the baby

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