Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Sibling Jealousy Rears Its Ugly Head

Sibling rivalry? Not yet. Sibling jealousy. Yeppers, though it's entirely one-sided for now.

I'm happy to report that P. has been an almost perfect big sister in her interactions with H. She's gentle, adoring, and protective. But as you might expect, she can also get pretty agitated when she decides she needs me (or the mister) when we're focused on satisfying H.'s needs.

Here's an example:

I was nursing H. and P. wanted to be wrapped in a blanket. I said she needed to be 'five minutes patient' because I knew our nursing session was coming to a close. Instead of being patient, she dropped to the ground and plaintively cried "I want someone to hold me! I want someone to hold me!" until H. was done. I did tell her that she was entitled to feel how she felt, but that she needed to do her whining in her room. Unfortunately, she didn't listen and with a baby hooked to my bosom, there wasn't much I could do about it in the moment.

Luckily there's been a lot more of this:

sibling jealousy

And this:

sibling jealousy

And this:

sibling jealousy

And even some of this:


And things like this: In the morning, because she had a dentist appointment, P. was ferried to childcare solo with the mister. When she realized H. wasn't coming along for the ride, she frowned and said, "But I'll be lonely in the back without him!" That made me smile!

How have you curbed sibling jealousy at your house? Because we'd love to know!

Have you missed some of the newer posts featuring H.? Here's where you can read about his labor and delivery, coming home from the hospital, our baby bonding experiences so far, how I'm handling maternity leave, our ambitious trip to the zoo, and a bit about H.'s first bath

12 comments:

  1. It's an ongoing battle over here. It was one sided for a while, but now that my baby is older, SHE gets jealous too. Amazing. I just make sure to give them both hugs and kisses to the point where they both feel smothered, then there aren't *as many* jealous episodes. ;-)

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    1. Ooh, I forgot that eventually H. will get jealous, too! I'm going to file away your 'smother them with love' technique :)

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  2. I can't decide which photo is my favorite! My daughter gets the jellies all the time, especially when I'm nursing. I try to be mindful to give her a long hug before feeding time and then give her some lap time afterward.

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    1. Nursing, yes. That's the big point of contention. Lately she's been coming up for one-armed hugs while I nurse, which beats crying right next to me! So far I've had good luck with trying to do at least one P.-focused activity each day, like playing a board game or drawing.

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  3. they don't get jealous of affection from either parent... they just get jealous when one has a toy the other wants. I FEEL SO WANTED.

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    1. WHY DO THE TOY AND FOOD DELIVERY SYSTEMS KEEP TRYING TO HOLD ME?

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  4. I think we missed some of that because Ev was 2 when Del was born. He didn't seem jealous, he just didn't like her very much at first. I think it's going to be a whole different ballgame this time, though. Ev is in constant adoration of the very idea of the baby in my 'belly', constantly trying to hug and kiss him and sometimes doing things he doesn't want to because the baby likes it (ie I said something like "Kimball likes it because it makes him grow big and strong" about a vegetable one dinner and Ev looked at me for a moment then started eating the vegetable and said "yeah, this is good, I like it too.") Delilah, on the other hand, turns into a green eyed monster when I mention the baby or touch someone else's baby. She's pretty insistent that SHE is still the baby. lol

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    1. That;s awesome that he's so sweet - a lot of the boys I know who were blessed with younger siblings simply did not care. Not happy, not jealous. Just, oh, a baby. Whatever!

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  5. Aw, they're so sweet together!
    When we first brought the baby home (nearly 7 months ago, golly), my first veered between pure adoration to outright jealousy (which he expressed by trying to hit the baby on the head, yikes).
    After 3 months, things settled down more. Now he goes between indifference to looking for the baby when he wakes up in the morning.
    The baby only has one viewpoint here - he LOVES his big brother.

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    1. Aw, isn't it sweet how the younger sibling can balance things out? Of course, sometimes it's the adoration (and the wanting to do everything the older sibling does) that causes strife!

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  6. Oh man. Our three-year-old definitely gets jealous of the baby. The worst was when the baby first came home from the hospital and the toddler would climb all over me while nursing the baby. Anyway, I try to make sure that the toddler sees me ask the baby to calm down and I give her TONS of praise for any kind of “big girl” behavior she might have. I’ll let you know if about 20 years if it actually works!

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    1. :)

      I've done the same thing - asking H. to calm down and not cry when it's not important - so at least she sees I'm an equal opportunity nagger!

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