Before you go running off in a huff, you need to know that my telling you that is not some horribly unsubtle way of bragging. My good fortune, as I see it, had nothing to do with still having visible collarbones. I was lucky because gaining weight mainly in the front meant I could hide it for as long as possible at work. According to this article, keeping a pregnancy under wraps at work is pretty common because plenty of companies will look for any excuse to send anyone with a bun in the oven packing.
Hiding a pregnancy at work is just good old plain common sense.
What surprises me is that it's apparently still relatively common for mamas-to-be to keep pregnancies a secret from friends and family until the second trimester. The first trimester, as I know all too well, being the trimester in which big, terrible tragedies are most common, and the reasoning being that once you tell a whole lot of people that you're pregnant, you may find yourself in the uncomfortable position of having to tell those same people that you're now unpregnant.
On the surface, avoiding that probably seems like a good idea. I get it. Maybe you think you wouldn't want to talk about a miscarriage. Better to just get over it, move on. Better to wait until the safety of trimester 2, just in case.
But if you're me, the first thing you do after a big, terrible tragedy is a get a tattoo in a spot that's usually not covered by clothing so you have an excuse to bring up miscarriage in polite company. Heck, to bring it up when the nice unsuspecting barista asks about your ink. And then the first thing you do not too long after seeing that double line a year and a half later is announce your pregnancy to the world.
There was no way I was going to go through all that again without a support system as vast and as broad as possible from the very beginning. If I went to that first ultrasound only to find out there was nothing to scan, I didn't want to preface the subsequent ramblings with a whole introduction to my now dead zygote. I didn't want to have to explain to people why I needed a shoulder to cry on or a few days worth of hot meals or just to be left alone for a while until I feel ready to rejoin the world. In the event that I miscarried again, I wanted my whole world there with me, along for the ride so there'd be someone to drag me back from the edge when I'd veer too sharply toward the darkness.
If you're pregnant and hiding it from people reasonably close to you, I'd suggest you reconsider. Pregnancy, whether ultimately joyful or painful, fruitful or not, is a journey best shared.
How long did you wait before announcing your pregnancy?