Seriously sparkling. So much that poor P. came to me despondent because, as she said, she "wished she had sparkles in her eyes like Bo has."
I also have wishes. I want to slow down time so that Bo's first two years feel as lengthy and as glorious as P.'s, which will never happen because in those years I was doing everything for the first time. I'd changed diapers but I'd never mothered before. I want to slow down P.'s next two years so I never have to live in a world where she'll say no to one more nighttime cuddle or another game, but I know that's silly since watching your babies turn into grown up people is kind of the point.
My darlings. They will be both be living their own lives in what for me will feel like moments, leaving me wondering how my own timeline could have lagged so far behind. This I know.
And yet still, I'll be happy when this:
Turns into this:
I've admitted before that my least favorite part of being a mom is having to feed my darlings over and over and over again. Mere hours after one meal there comes another, and it's my job to prepare them and to clean up after them and to monitor their relative healthiness against the Standard American Diet (which we all know is just awful). And when they are young, mealtime is a messy affair. I swear, we still have Cheerios or puffs - some circular foodstuff, anyway - trapped under our baseboard heating where even the slimmest vac attachment can't touch them. There are still stains on the kitchen wall from P.'s puree days.
Someday I will regret feeling this way. I will wish for one more day of Stage 1 prunes flying through the air and finding its way into ears and nostrils. I will think wistfully about finding a pile of shredded cheese underneath the table. I will stroke the cold, hard surfaces of an impeccably clean kitchen and wonder why I ever worried about sticky fingers. I will meditate on mealtime through the forgiving lens of years gone by and sigh and remember the good times and the bad times, which were also good times that I just couldn't see as such in the moment.
This, too, I know.