Due to a series of unpleasant happenings I have found myself quite alone this past week.
Not physically alone. The house is still as full as ever. I think the kids had an amazing holiday, all things considered.
I smile when I know they can see me. We've played blocks and Shopkins and watched Christmas specials together. This morning we ate cookies for breakfast because life is too short.
But I'm in a bubble.
Friends are off enjoying their own holidays with their own families and then there are the friends who turned out not to be who I thought they were.
The husband who turned out to be not who I thought he was.
And so I find myself with no one to talk to. Not necessarily about the important things but just about the minutia of day to day life.
For instance, I have no idea why my husband decided to make au gratin potatoes in the middle of the day and I can't bring myself to ask.
No one to laugh with about the fact that Bo has been riding the new rocking horse in the buff on and off all day.
And not a single person to complain with, though I've recently come to realize - way too late - that if you build relationships based on negativity eventually you become a target.
Tomorrow real life will start up again and I think that's going to be good and bad. Work is a great distraction but family and friends used to be my antidote.
Now I don't know what I'm going to do.