Okay, Mr. Midwife

I opted to forgo the drugs at Paloma's birth. Honestly, it wasn't that bad, and besides, there probably would have been time since she was born so quickly. But had I decided it was "that bad," I wouldn't have had a problem being the screaming give-me-drugs-or-die patient. I mean, hey, I don't say no to Novocain at the dentist to have the authentic drilling experience or to test my mettle. I'm not less-of-an-X because I opt for pain relief, and neither are ladies who go in for epidurals. Next time I give birth I might just get one because while giving birth wasn't the worst pain one can experience, I can't say I enjoyed it.

That said, have a gander at this:

In England, a prominent male midwife has come out to say that women "should go through pain in childbirth."

Say what?

"Pain in labor is a purposeful, useful thing, which has quite a number of benefits, such as preparing a mother for the responsibility of nurturing a newborn baby," Dr. Dennis Walsh says.

"Over recent decades there has been a loss of 'rites of passage' meaning to childbirth, so that pain and stress are viewed negatively," he added, arguing that patients should be told labor pain is a timeless component of the "rites of passage" transition to motherhood.

"Emerging evidence [shows] that normal labor and birth primes the bonding areas of a mother's brain better than caesarean or pain-free birth."

The pain of labor SO did not prepare me for the responsibilities of having a baby. While I understand that the hormones released during the pain of labor do facilitate the initial bonding process, I'm of the opinion that bonding is something that happens over time. I know I feel closer to Paloma now than I did a month ago or two months from that. When she's 10, I'll probably be so head over heels that they have to shake me just to get me to eat. So missing out on a little bonding juice? Eh. And as for rites of passage? That's the lamest justification for pain I've ever heard in my life. You want me to experience a birth-related rite of passage? Give me a mylar balloon and one of those edible arrangements and we'll call it even.

Look, I am PRO natural childbirth. It's an, er, interesting experience, to say the least. But let's not put pain on a pedestal. Dealing with pain does not make you a saint, and going the opposite route does not make you a wuss. Yes, epidurals do carry with them a greater risk of eventual medical interventions. Do your homework, and know that going in if you're considering one. Or look into other forms of pain relief, from the natural to the narcotic. Again, know what you're getting into, make an informed decision, and rock on. Pain for some, pain relief for others, babies for all!

Oh, and Mr. Midwife? Talk to me when you grow a vaj. Until then, shut the hell up.