Sometimes You Get the Worst of Both Worlds

There are times I feel like I have nothing in common with my SAHM friends and nothing in common with my working mommy friends. Like especially when it's 12:04 a.m. and I'm knee deep in a huge writing project that's supposed to be done fairly soon, so I'm trying to work whenever Paloma's asleep. Which means working in the middle of the night and at 5 a.m. My current schedule sure takes me back to the days when Paloma the Preemie had to be woken to eat every three hours. The only things currently keeping me alive are chocolate and exercise.


And coffee. Lots and lots and lots of coffee.

What was I talking about?

Oh, right. I'm like a WAHM (say it with me: wooooooooooohhhhhm), which isn't really an acknowledged thing that anyone cares about since everyone's too busy awwwing at the cute crafts the SAHMs are making and gushing over how empowered the working mommies are. Note that I do not disagree with either the cuteness of the crafts and projects or radness of the empowerment.

I just kind of feel left out of both sometimes since I don't have time to do all the things I'd like to do (make clothes for Paloma or a quilt, make all our baby food, work in the garden, go to story time, volunteer at the kitty shelter where I used to scoop poop, practice making macarons, walk with my mommy friends, fix up the house, etc.) and my work doesn't bring in enough dough to grant me the freedom to buy clothes or hire gardeners or pay someone to fix all the stuff that needs fixing in our house.

People tend to assume that because I'm home I have all this free time to like puree organic hearts of palm and whip up batches of homemade, earth-friendly hand sanitizer. Or that I'm working so I'm available all the time right this second because there couldn't possibly be a baby right there demanding a dramatic reading of Goodnight, Little Bunny for the 50th time that day. And not that many people know that in addition to working and watching Paloma, I also sit for a friend three days a week.

Because, gosh, who would be so crazy as to attempt to work at home with a 14-month-old, babysit, and stupidly try to keep up with all the cool things the people who are lucky enough not to have to work are doing?


(Granted, a really darn cute 14-month-old, but a 14-month-old nonetheless. Which means typing four words at a time while a baby who has obviously been starved by neglectful parents is attempting to climb one's pants leg before realizing that, yes, there is poop in there.)

Er, yeah, that crazy person would be moi. Sometimes I just want to go back in time and throttle my younger self.



Pee Ess - A few of my chicas asked me to clarify a thing or two, and I figured I might as well just do it here. Of course I don't think that mommas who stay at home are less busy or that mommas who go to work really have any more freedom. That's the popular perception, and popular perception does influence how mommas are treated at every point in the spectrum, la la la. I do think, however, that there's a big divide when it comes to the kind of and quality of busyness.

IMO - and it's only my opinion so feel free to disagree - there's a world of difference between being busy because you're doing what you want to do (because it enriches your kid's life or your life, because it's fun, because it helps someone else out, because you want to work, etc.) and doing what you have to do but don't necessarily want to do (because your partner doesn't make enough money to be the sole breadwinner, because you're a single parent, because you don't get maternity leave, etc.). It's not like one kind of busyness is better or worse, but one sure as heck sucks more!